So, the boys and I, under the advice of cody and jeffrey's doctor, are going thru family counseling sessions. We are doing this to help our family heal from all of the stress and anger that seems to be running rampant thru out our house. So far the outcome has seemed to help. We have learned to communicate with each other using words instead of hitting and throwing things and cussing on my part. I am going thru some very stressful times and have a lot of my own anger to deal with and I am very worried that it is affecting the most precious things in my life. The last thing in this world I want is to harm my children, whether it be mentally or physically, not that I would hit my kids. They seem to hit each other.
Some of the things we have incorporated into our routines are eating dinner together every night, whether it be a bowl of cereal and toast or a full BBQ steak dinner. We talk about what each of us did that day, good and bad and how we dealt with it. I have come to find out that my amazing 10 year old has what he calls his angry journal. If something makes him so angry or mad he writes about it and ponders it for a day or two and then he rips out the page and throws it away along with his angry feelings. I have learned that he is a very forgiving young man whom I am very proud of. He has seen a lot for his young age and the therapist says he is a very well adjusted young person.
My cody man has learned that he may get more out of me and his brother by simply asking. There have been fewer and fewer of his screaming and hitting the wall outburst, and he is not so dependant on his flannel pillow. I have learned that he is pretty smart and very observant. More observant than I gave him credit for.
Both of my young men have made me very proud and given me the strength to be a single mom. I know I don't do it all by myself because I have an amazing support system of friends and family, whom I couldn't live without. Jeff has even come around a little and will soon be invited to join us for a session of therapy. I have been sharing what we talk about and I think it has opened his eyes a little, even if he won't admit it.
All in all, I am a very big fan of talking out your problems and concerns and highly recommend it to anyone.